The Art of Becoming

ROMANCING RESISTANCE PART 3

And just like that my 100 day challenge is a wrap — or is it — after all it is 2023. On that note, Happy New Year! I hope your holiday season has been beautiful.

Now, getting back to that hundred day challenge. The premise of the challenge was to “rendezvous with resistance”. Especially as it appeared regularly when attempting to accomplish the task that I set out to.  Which admittedly, I have all too often allowed resistance to be an excuse to stop me from following through — more times than I am willing to admit.

Let’s first define the word challenge, according to the Cambridge English Dictionary, something that needs great mental or physical effort in order to be done successfully and therefore tests a person’s ability. Trust me, I knew my hundred days of movement was going to be a challenge. Moreover, anyone choosing to embark on their own challenge should also be prepared for it to be challenging.

During the challenge I expected to create a new habit, and possibly learn a few things about myself, which I ended up doing both. What I didn’t expect was the major euphonies, ah-ha moments, and identity shifts that occurred also throughout those 100 days.

Likewise learning that real change occurs when we continually push through the plethora of resistant excuses that our brains tend to offer up to us. The key to any real successful change starts with awareness. If we aren’t aware of our habits, behaviors, thoughts, emotions, or unproductive patterns, we tend to continue, cycle, and repeat them regularly. Ultimately creating the same day and the same life, unconsciously.

It is only through awareness that realize we have an option in how we react, act, and even choose who to be, consciously. Awareness allows us to choose emotions we want to feel, thoughts we want to think, and behave as whe we want to show up as in our own lives. Awareness shines light on old unproductive patterns, guide in more fulfilling habits and ways of being, which then aid in aligning our behavior with our authentic selves.

The challenge actually was — me becoming me. Becoming who exactly? Well, that is for me to decide. 😏

I also learned that resistance is all in our minds. It isn’t a brick wall, a force field, or some external force keeping us from doing the thing we committed to. Resistance is the excuses we tell ourselves, the justifications we come up with, and the old comfortable patterned habits (of our identity) we choose to indulge in.

One of my earliest ah-ha moments was recognizing that I could come up against resistance, acknowledge any feelings associated with it, allow it, and then fulfill the commitment I made to myself despite it.  It was through this process that I also learned that motivation comes on the heels of action.

Let me stress that again — motivation comes on the heels of taking action.  When we wait for motivation to move us towards success, we find ourselves waiting a very long time with often limited and sporadic action that not only yields little to zero rewards, but also slows any long term progress as we repeatedly stop and start on ourselves.

Next, I never once regretted the movement I had committed to. I religiously followed through for ninety days, with not one regret.  I learned that when I did what I committed to, my day didn’t end up going to pot — like it inevitably always did, every other time in my past when I didn’t follow through. I also didn’t struggle with self-loathing mind chatter, or the incessant weight of “I still need to do this”, or “this has to get done”. When I committed to it, it got done. It was that simple.

And just like that, life happened, at day 90 I tested positive with Covid and got sidelined for 10 days.  I took a deep breathes, and got lots of rest, but what I didn’t do, was ruminate, or beat myself up, allow myself to spiral out of control, or even delay any longer than necessary.  I picked up where I had left off and completed my challenge 10 days later.

I kind of thought I’d celebrate or reward myself upon completion of my challenge, nope. I posted that I’d completed the challenge, and that was it. You see, something strange happened somewhere around the 66 day mark. I stop focusing on the resistance, and even the end of the challenge — instead I started to plan the next challenge, the next goal or habit, or the next facet of my personality that I wanted to change. This was an extremely fascinating discovery.

So you’ve heard it here — there will be another 100 day challenge, I’ve actually already began. Who knows, moving forward I may set most of my goals, habits, and challenges to fit within one hundred day increments.

I know this much — I look forward to 2023, armed with knowledge, with wisdom, and with abundant evidence that what’s possible is actually limitless, and can start with just 100 days. If, like me, you are starting your new year off by reflecting on what you would like to create, change or cultivate more of in your 2023, and could use a bit of guidance and support, I would love to work with you.

I am now offering a coaching package: The Art of Becoming. Where I assist you in permanently transforming your life, one small habit at a time, and all within 100 days.

PARIS & YOUTUBE

As a photographer & art appreciator, my heart swells every time I revisit my photos from Paris. As a woman with a long standing dream of visiting Paris, my heart swells every time I remember how the trip to Paris manifested itself. 

You see, I didn’t plan this Paris trip.  That sentence sounds a bit untrue, because of course I’ve planned a trip to Paris, several of them, over and over again theoretically in my head, and in various ways.  But this trip, I never saw coming, and yet it came — and my heart swells. 

I have a thousand plus images from my week in Paris, and just as many memories. Also, while I was there, I even managed to snag a few videos with my phone. 

And, seeing how I am now new to YouTube, I thought what better way to share some of these clips, than there. I took what limited video footage I captured and created a Parisian street scene mashup that you can watch here.

Ok, so admittedly, I’m a newb to YouTube & editing videos.  My edit is notably simple and slightly rough, and that’s okay with me.  Because now, my Paris clips are no longer lost or scattered about within the abyss of my phone’s memory.  They are instead neatly woven together, overlaid with music, and placed on YouTube permanently, for the foreseeable future. 

My Paris video is just the beginning. 

My plans for YouTube are simple, — curate beautiful videos, create inspiring content, and cultivate a meaning space to evolve with.  I can say this for certain, the beauty of life resides in the mystery of the unknown.  It’s not in the history of my past, nor in the predictability of my future — but in the mystery of the unknown, that is where the beauty of life resides.

I would love for you to join me in this new YouTube endeavor — subscribe & like.  It’s super simple, anyone with a Google account can follow along, maybe even with a Yahoo account, but that I can’t say for sure. 😏 Cheers to the unknown! 🍾🥂

Romancing Resistance — Part Deux

I have officially completed two thirds of my 100 day challenge, and I have a few takeaways to share. To start, I’m still in it, still pushing through the resistance, and I am still keeping my eye on the prize of completing all 100 days. 

It’s interesting, this challenge — I mean, I knew it would push me. I knew it would teach me new things. I even knew it would ultimately change parts of me. I just didn’t know to what extent or to the immediateness of change. 

The mind is a funny thing.  Let me quickly breakdown some of how the mind works — a caveat, this is a high level, non-sciencey breakdown, and is only a very tiny interpreted portion of what the brain functions are capable of. 

To start, we have the prefrontal cortex that provides judgment, thinking, reasoning, problem-solving, and learning.  Then there’s the primitive mind which provides us with our evolved responsive instincts of fight, flight, or freeze — as well as our habitual responses.  There is also the basal ganglia that provides us with our emotional processing abilities.  

Here is where I decided, with my prefrontal cortex, to challenge myself with a repeated action (movement) for 100 days. The purpose is to take said action from the prefrontal to then move it to the habit portion of the primitive, over the span of 100 days.  All while recognizing and allowing for the emotions, (resistance) provided to me from my basal ganglia. This is called the process of progression. 

  1. First — the activity I have required of myself has gotten a lot easier to perform.  This comes naturally as a side effect of the compound effect. And on some days, when I have time and feel so inclined, I’ll even increase either intensity or speed.
  2. Second — the intensity of the resistance has eased a bit, in both vibrational frequency and occurrence. 
  3. Third — when the new action (challenge) is committed to, and intentions are fixed, giving into resistance is frankly NOT EVEN AN OPTION.  
  4. Finally — I have followed through every day for the last 65 days.  I have had to modify on some days what I did that day, and/or the timing of which it was done in. BUT STILL, I moved intentionally every single day, without fail.  

Was it hard? Some days, absolutely! On other days it felt easy-peasy.  The epiphany I had was that moving up to the edge of resistance before easing into allowance, was harder than the action itself. THE takeaway of the 100 day challenge was the awareness of an either push or pull energy. A push back, against performing the action, which shows up as resistance — or a pull, being pulled to move assuredly forward by inspiration and/or clarity.

Let me rewind just a bit, on day 25 I decided to add another challenge to the already existing challenge — thinking I would level up every 25 days.  I added my morning routine, everyday to my already existent movement challenge. 

Ok, reality check time.  25 days was too soon.  I have zero regrets, and I have followed through for the last 41 days, I just wouldn’t do it again that soon. Nor would I recommend it, unless you really want to challenge yourself with resistance, and prove to yourself just how much of a badass you are, then DO IT!!  However, what I would recommend is to wait 33 day or even 50 days before adding anything on top of the challenge.  

NOT THAT ANYONE NEEDS TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE TO A 100 DAY CHALLENGE, trust me, the challenge is honestly enough.  I’m only adding because I am currently dancing with resistance.

NOW, here I am two thirds done and I am adding one more challenge to the two challenges I currently have going. Bring on the resistance!  For the next 33 days I will honor my calendar. Here are those parameters:

  • I will plan the calendar out weekly.
  • I will perform the tasks and results planned on my calendar.
  • Keeping to the timeline I scheduled them for, not before, not after. 

Learning to get from here (our beginning) to there (our goal) is the practice of us becoming. Setting intentions 100 days at a time gives our minds focus, and allows our intentions to be top of mind and ever present. When we are present, especially with our intentions, life pulls us to the future we are cultivating. And that my friends, is how to ultimately get from here to there, successfully.

WELL, IT’S OFFICIAL

So it’s finally happened.  I am now officially a certified Life Coach. According to the hubs, I’m bonafide. Yup, I am a lot excited, a tad nervous, but ready, so very ready for the next chapter to unfold.

So, what is a Life Coach?

Some of you may be wondering what exactly is a life coach?  If you happen to know already, feel free to skip on ahead. 

  • For starters, people should know that life coaching is actually an unregulated field, as opposed to traditional therapy & psychiatry. Typical counseling topics are not what you would actually seek a life coach for. So understandably, life coaches do not diagnose clinical conditions of any kind.
  • Life coaches generally help with most other challenges.
    • A life coach tends to be future-focused, and they help clients work towards their goals.  
    • It is my job, as a life coach, to work alongside my clients to help bring awareness to their unconscious mindsets – typically the unintentional thoughts, feelings, and/or actions that they may not be cognizant of.
    • A life coach is considered an equal.  A thought I love to use when coaching is essentially, I am not right and my client is not wrong.  I know that my clients have the answers, and know what’s best for themselves.
    • Most notably is that I don’t solve my clients problems, as a coach, I will however, empower my client to uncover & create their own solutions.
So, what’s next for me?

Of course I’ve been thinking a lot about how to transition into this new phase of my career.  What’s interesting is I have none of the HOW worked out, at all.  I have a few ideas on some of the next steps, but that’s about it. Somehow, I am still super excited for what’s to come.

I have a very clear vision of my future, the future I want to cultivate for myself. However, that particular vision didn’t necessarily come with a play by play, or a how-to guide. 

I plan to keep blogging, I genuinely love this platform.  That being said, I am also starting a Life Coaching business where I am currently offering my coaching services in a few different forms. I will eventually create a separate page for those terms of services on this site soon.  And, on a fun note, I also plan to start a YouTube channel.  Yup, you heard it here folks — YouTube.  I’ll definitely keep all of you in that loop. 

Nevertheless, I do anticipate a good amount of fails, some losses, and definitely some hiccups all along the way of my journey. This is where my life coach certification should come in handy, wouldn’t you say.  

Here is what I know for sure, (for me at least).
  • Life’s a journey — it’s beautiful, it’s messy, & it is completely unpredictable — and I absolutely love it — the good, the bad, and the incredibly sad. 
  • I know that I wouldn’t be here today, or be who I am, had I not experienced all that has led me to this point.  
  • I am unapologetically an optimist — and I believe anything is possible — for anyone.
  • Beauty is everywhere and in everything, and I seek to find it always! 
  • I am a romantic — n. characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality – that’s me.
  • Finally, I love helping & cheering others on as they go after the life of their dreams. 

Like I said, I am excited for what’s to come. Feel free to reach out with any questions. And if anyone would like to work with me in a professional capacity, please don’t hesitate to contact me, or click the link here.

Cheers. 🥂
Xo, Suzette

Romancing Resistance

So I decided to do a thing, a 100 day challenge thing. 

Here are the the simple parameters of the challenge that I set for myself — the challenge is to move for 100 days.  Seriously, nothing major, 3 days of walking (20 — 45 minutes), 2 days of yoga (again, 20 — 45 minutes), and then 2 days of a HIIT (8 — 15 minutes). Like I said, nothing major. 

So, before I explain what this challenge is, let me quickly tell you what the challenge isn’t.  Surprisingly, it isn’t a weight loss challenge, although that would be nice.  It’s not about going down a size, or a number on a scale, or any other number for that matter.

What it is — is RESISTANCE.  Yup, you read that right, resistance. According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, resistance n. 1. generally, any action in opposition to, defying, or withstanding something or someone.

In short, this 100 day challenge is all about me romancing resistance.

Here’s the over and under, I am not actually a lazy person, nor am I a procrastinator — I can, and I do, hard & uncomfortable things all the time.  I just tend to run up against resistance when those hard & uncomfortable things are for my own benefit, for my future, or on my calendar. (The calendar thing — well, that is a different post & challenge all together.)

For me, I needed a way to separate myself, from those unproductive descriptors, like lazy or procrastinator, and also ditch that old story about me not finishing things. I realized that I am not the problem. However, my relationship with resistance is a problem.

So, I decided to challenge resistance, maybe even seduce it, at the very least, build a working relationship with resistance.  This is the challenge!  

I chose movement for 100 days. Why?  Because I run up against resistance 100% of the time whenever movement is involved.  This means everyday, for 100 days, I am now guaranteed an opportunity to engage with resistance,  and I get to see how resistance appears in my life.  So far, resistance has shown up as distraction, procrastination, diversion, unpreparedness, tiredness, and transference of emotions (you know, when you lack confidence in one area and your mind wants to transfer that emotion to other areas, yeah, that) — just to name a few. 

And this was just within the first 12 days.  

One might be wondering what I’ve learned so far?

What I have learned is that none of those things have actually stopped me from moving forward.  I simply recognize how resistance shows up that day, and then I follow through with the previously scheduled program, all in spite of the many ways resistance appears.

This is the interesting thing, when resistance appears, and it does, it doesn’t actually stop me in my tracks, nor does it derail me. The day doesn’t turn into a complete wash, and get this, the day also doesn’t spiral out of control. I simply recognize the resistance, feel it, and take action, regardless. Fascinating how the simple act of awareness can bring such clarity.

I’m not done. I’ve actually just started, day 14 out of 100 to be exact — only 86 days to go — or the rest of my life, depending on how you want to look at it. However, this is where I get to dabble in consistency & discipline. Definitely, more posts on the topic to come.

This is my 100 day challenge, this is how I plan on romancing resistance.