Divine Indulgences:

Ten Luxurious Self-Love Practices for Embracing Your Inner Goddess

Forget the cliché date nights and the tired trope of rallying against societal norms with a sneer. Don’t get me wrong—buy yourself the flowers and chocolate, hell, dismantle the patriarchy if that’s what sings to your soul. But this Valentine’s, let’s shift the focus to something even more radical: you. Not as an afterthought. Not as an occasional indulgence. But as the main event.

This isn’t about rejecting love—it’s about redefining it. The most enduring, most powerful love story you will ever experience is the one you cultivate with yourself. And when you treat yourself as sacred, when you prioritize your desires unapologetically, you don’t just indulge—you embody. This day isn’t just a break from routine; it’s a rebellion against every inherited belief that told you self-devotion was excessive. Consider this your invitation to start living as the woman you truly desire to be, not just on special occasions, but every damn day.

1. Goddess Bath Extravaganza

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Why settle for a mere shower when you can revel in a bath divinely crafted for a goddess? Infuse the waters with a cocktail of essential oils, lavish heaps of Epsom salts for soothing muscles, and scatter vibrant petals for a visual feast. Cue your favorite lounging soundtrack, light a borderline scandalous number of candles, and let the mundane world melt away.

Why We Hesitate: Often, there’s a perception that indulging in such a luxurious bath is excessive, a perception deeply rooted in societal conditioning that prioritizes productivity over personal relaxation and labels self-care as a luxury rather than a necessity. But we no longer play by those unchallenged societal rules.

Challenge This Thought: Embracing regular indulgent baths allows you to unwind and recharge, offering essential mental and physical benefits. Recognize that dedicating time to such self-care practices is not an excess but an integral part of maintaining overall well-being and happiness. Allow yourself the freedom to fully enjoy these moments, knowing they are vital for a balanced life—and they feel effing fabulous, which is reason enough.

2. Meditate with the Sun

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Whether you’re saluting the morning sun or bidding it adieu, carve out a moment to meditate during the golden hours. Let the soft light bathe you in warmth as you breathe in the beauty of the world, set intentions brimming with self-love, and perhaps, cheekily plot your benevolent takeover of the universe.

Why We Hesitate: Meditation is often seen as a luxury, something for those who can ‘afford’ the time away from their busy schedules. This belief is a relic of a productivity-obsessed culture that undervalues stillness and introspection.

Challenge This Thought: Challenge this outdated notion. Recognize that making time for meditation is a vital form of self-care that enhances your mental clarity and emotional resilience. It’s not a luxury but a necessity for maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life. Embrace these moments of peace as your right, essential for your overall well-being.

3. Gratitude Journaling, But Make It Fancy

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Seize that opulent journal reserved for noteworthy occasions and pair it with the finest wine or a tea so sophisticated it borders on snobbery. Chronicle your triumphs, curves, quirks, and all the idiosyncrasies that make you magnificently you. Celebrate each detail with a flourish of your pen.

Why We Might Hesitate: We’ve been conditioned to downplay our own brilliance, to think gratitude should be reserved for external achievements or things outside of ourselves. There’s also the sneaky belief that acknowledging our own greatness is self-indulgent or, worse, vain.

Challenge This Thought: Gratitude is not just for what happens to you—it’s about who you are. Owning your strengths, your evolution, and your uniqueness isn’t arrogance; it’s a reclamation. This practice isn’t about false humility or waiting for permission to feel proud. It’s about recognizing yourself in all your richness and refusing to shrink. And honestly? There’s something deliciously powerful about putting pen to paper and declaring, I am extraordinary, and here’s why.

4. Gourmet Made Simple

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Conjure a feast that’s lavish yet understated. Whether it’s arranging the perfect charcuterie board, whipping up a sinfully good chocolate mousse, or crafting your best “I could almost pass as Italian” bowl of pasta prepared to decadent perfection, indulge your culinary senses. Pair each bite with a toast to your own splendor—a drink as sumptuous as the meal.

Why We Might Hesitate: Often, we might feel that high-quality dining experiences are reserved for expensive restaurants or special occasions, leading us to undervalue the possibility of creating such quality moments at home.

Challenge This Thought: Reject the notion that quality dining is exclusive to the outside world. You are absolutely deserving of enjoying high-quality, fine dining anytime in your own home. Embrace the joy of preparing and savoring exquisite meals as a regular part of your life. It’s a celebration of your taste and a testament to the fact that you deserve the best, on your own terms. Elevating your daily meals is not just a treat; it’s an affirmation of your worth and a commitment to nourishing yourself with excellence.

5. Unleash Your Creative Soul

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Reserve a moment in your day for pure, unbridled creativity. This is your invitation to paint your emotions in vibrant colors, to write your truths with bold metaphors, to dance as if the earth itself pulses under your feet, or to sing with a voice that cracks open the sky. Let there be no judgments here, no audience to appease. This space is yours to fill with the rawness of your passion and the authenticity of your being. It’s about savoring the process, the sheer joy of creation, and embracing every aspect of your creative spirit.

Why We Might Hesitate: Society has conditioned us to believe that creativity is a luxury, a hobby, or something that must be monetized or mastered to be worthy of our time. If it’s not productive, if it’s not perfect, if it’s not “going somewhere,” then why bother?

Challenge This Thought: Creativity is not a privilege—it’s an inherent part of your being. It doesn’t need an audience, a paycheck, or a polished final product to be valid. Expressing yourself for the sake of joy, exploration, and self-connection is reason enough. Your creativity is yours to claim, to revel in, to nurture—not something to justify. Let yourself play, experiment, and create simply because you can. Because you want to. Because it feels damn good.

6. Walk It Out

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Take a leisurely stroll through the most tranquil natural setting or immerse yourself in the dynamic pulse of your favorite urban area. Whether it’s a secluded park, a windswept beach, or a quaint cobblestone street in the heart of the city, find a sanctuary where only your thoughts and the ambient symphony of your surroundings resonate. Let each step reaffirm your connection to the earth and the rhythm of life around you, and allow the subtle beauty of the world to reinvigorate your spirit.

Why We Might Hesitate: We’ve been taught to equate stillness and unstructured time with wasted time, making the idea of wandering without a purpose feel indulgent or even irresponsible.

Challenge This Thought: Movement is not just about burning calories or getting somewhere—it’s about reconnecting with yourself. Walking clears the mind, resets your energy, and invites inspiration in ways a screen never will. You don’t need a reason or a step count to justify getting outside. Take up space. Stroll just for the pleasure of it. Let your mind wander, breathe deeper, and remember that simply being is more than enough.

7. Self-Massage: It’s You, On You

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Indulge in a luxurious self-massage that transcends ordinary care into the realm of divine self-honoring. Choose that extravagant oil or lotion you’ve been saving for “someday”—today is that day. As you anoint your body, view each touch as a celebration of your existence. From your weary shoulders to the soles of your busy feet, thank each part for its service. This isn’t just maintenance; it’s a loving homage to the vessel that carries you through life.

Why We Might Hesitate: We’ve been conditioned—through media, beauty standards, and societal expectations—to view our bodies as things to fix, critique, or tolerate, not as something to cherish. Self-touch, unless strictly functional (or marketed as a “wellness hack”), is rarely framed as an act of devotion.

Challenge This Thought: Your body is not just a project for endless improvement—it is your home, your history, your constant companion. The world profits off your insecurities, but you don’t have to buy into them. Self-massage isn’t indulgent—it’s a reclamation, a way to say thank you to the body that holds and carries you every single day. Take your time, luxuriate in the sensation, and remind yourself that your body deserves care and admiration—not just when it looks a certain way, but simply because it’s yours.

8. Dress to Impress (Yourself)

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Dress for the day you envision, crafting an atmosphere of celebration and self-adulation. Whether it’s draping yourself in the most comfortable loungewear or donning a dazzling outfit that would turn heads at a gala, make it an event. Spritz on some perfume, add some jewelry, and move through your day with the poise of someone who truly loves themselves. It’s not vanity; it’s about embracing and reveling in your personal style and the physical presence you bring to the world.

Why We Might Hesitate: We’ve been conditioned to believe that dressing up is for occasions, for other people, or to meet an external standard. From a young age, we’re taught that effort should be reserved for when we need to be presentable, desirable, or socially acceptable—otherwise, why bother?

Challenge This Thought: Dressing well isn’t about them—it’s about you. Your body, your style, your presence deserve to be adorned and appreciated, no audience required. Wear the outfit that makes you feel like a walking masterpiece. Take up space. Let getting dressed be an act of self-respect, a daily ritual of stepping into your own power. Because feeling good in your skin (and in your clothes) isn’t extra—it’s essential.

9. Future Planning Like a Queen

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Sit down in your most cherished nook, surrounded by candles and soft music, and plot the empire of your dreams. What are your deepest desires? What achievements await your pursuit? Sketch out the ambitious or serene paths you wish to walk, from career goals to personal journeys. This session is more than planning; it’s a declaration of your aspirations, laid out with the confidence of a queen strategizing her next move to ensure her reign is long and fulfilling.

Why We Might Hesitate: We’ve been conditioned to plan practically, to think within the confines of what’s reasonable, responsible, and realistic. Dreaming big—especially as women—has often been discouraged, painted as naive, selfish, or even unattainable. We’re told to be grateful for what we have instead of daring to want more.

Challenge This Thought: You are not here to play small. Your dreams are not too much, too ambitious, or too impractical. Visionary thinking is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for designing the life you actually want to live. Let go of the narrative that you must shrink your desires to fit someone else’s expectations. Plan like the world is yours to shape—because it is.

10. Wind Down Like a Goddess

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Conclude your indulgent day with a nighttime ritual crafted for deep, restorative sleep, setting the stage for dreams as rich as your experiences. Whether it involves slipping into freshly laundered sheets that caress your skin, losing yourself in the pages of a captivating book, indulging in a French-inspired skincare routine that pays swoon-worthy attention to every detail, or simply laying out the perfect ensemble for tomorrow’s escapades, ensure every action is imbued with intention. This isn’t merely about preparing for sleep; it’s about ending your day enveloped in self-care that is as nurturing as it is luxurious.

Why We Might Hesitate: We’ve been conditioned to think of nighttime routines as just another chore—something functional, rushed, and done purely out of necessity. Slowing down, unwinding with intention, and embracing rituals of pleasure? That’s often dismissed as indulgent, or worse, unnecessary.

Challenge This Thought: Your nighttime routine is not just a means to an end—it’s a closing ceremony, a sacred transition from one day to the next. Give yourself permission to luxuriate in it. Take your time. Make it beautiful. Let your evening ritual be a testament to your worth, a signal to your body and mind that you deserve deep rest, deep pleasure, and deep care—without apology.

This day isn’t a fleeting indulgence—it’s a blueprint. A reminder that luxury, pleasure, and devotion aren’t rewards for burnout or milestones met; they are the foundation of the life you are meant to embody. When you claim this level of self-honoring, you aren’t just treating yourself—you’re setting a new standard for how you move through the world.

Each choice you make to nourish, celebrate, and adore yourself chips away at the conditioning that taught you to shrink, to wait, to put yourself last. By focusing your love inward, you don’t just refill your cup—you redefine the terms of your existence. And that doesn’t have to be reserved for today. It starts now, and it continues every single day you choose yourself.

Embodying the Life You Love:

How to Stop Waiting & Start Living

Imagine waking up with a quiet smile—not because something extraordinary is about to happen, but because you’ve built a life that feels good. A life where your presence is enough, your routines feel sacred, and every day holds a quiet kind of magic. You pour a glass of water, glance at your calendar, and realize—nothing groundbreaking is scheduled. Just a normal day. And yet, something feels different.

You’re no longer waiting for life to begin. You’re already living it.

But what does it actually take to fall in love with your life? How do you make the ordinary feel like a love story worth swooning over?

Everything You Want is a Feeling

At the core of every goal, every desire, every daydream is the feeling we believe it will bring. We don’t just want success, love, or freedom—we want the experience of them.

So why do we postpone those feelings, acting as if they’re reserved for some distant milestone? Why not feel them now? What if you didn’t wait until you “arrived” to feel at home in your life?

The Energy You Embody is the Energy You Attract

Here’s the truth: you don’t attract what you wish for—you attract what you embody. When you choose to feel the way you want to feel now, you don’t just experience more joy in the present—you become a magnet for more of it.

  • Want more love in your life? Start treating yourself with the love and tenderness you crave from others.
  • Want more abundance? Show up with gratitude and confidence, knowing you’re already worthy of more.
  • Want more adventure? Move through your day with curiosity, wonder, and a willingness to say yes.

Your energy, your mindset, and the way you experience the present moment are shaping what you welcome into your future. The key? Stop waiting. Start embodying.

How to Romanticize Your Life & Fall in Love with the Everyday

If what you want is a feeling, you don’t have to wait. You cultivate it. You choose it. You embody it. That shift is the difference between moving through life on autopilot and romanticizing the journey you’re already on.

So how do you make your life feel like the love story it deserves to be?

1. Make Your Routines Feel Like Rituals

Most people move through their days like a checklist—wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. But what if the smallest moments could hold more weight? More presence, more beauty, more intention?

  • Drink your morning coffee like it’s an indulgence, not a necessity.
  • Light the candle, play the music, dress like you give a damn.
  • Move through your day as if every detail was designed to be savored.

It’s not about doing more—it’s about being more present in what you already do.

2. Stop Waiting to Feel How You Want to Feel

Waiting until your life looks perfect to feel happy is like refusing to dance until the “right” song plays. You’ll be waiting forever.

  • Want to feel more luxurious? Elevate the way you treat yourself now.
  • Want to feel successful? Show up like the woman who already is.
  • Want to feel more in love with life? Start acting like life is something to fall in love with.

It’s not about faking it—it’s about embodying the energy of what you desire before it arrives.

3. Seek Beauty in the Ordinary

The difference between a mundane life and a beautiful one? The way you see it.

  • The golden hour light spilling through your window.
  • The texture of fresh linen, the scent of your favorite perfume.
  • The way the air shifts right before a storm.

Beauty is everywhere. Your only job is to notice it.

Your Life, Romanticized

Falling in love with life isn’t about waiting for something grand to happen. It’s about turning the ordinary into something worth savoring. It’s about rewriting your role—not as a passive participant, but as the main character. The muse. The woman who moves through life with presence, intention, and a quiet kind of power.

And if you’re waiting for a sign to start? This is it.

Let’s Take This Further—Join My World

If this speaks to you, there are two ways we can connect deeper:

1. Subscribe to My Newsletter – A monthly dose of embodiment, self-mastery, and main character energy straight to your inbox. Expect insights, mindset shifts, and real conversations designed to help you live the life you desire. [Sign up here.]

2. Book a Café Chat With Me – A complimentary 45-minute consultation call where we dive into your aspirations, challenges, and how you can start embodying your ideal self today. Imagine a cozy café setting where we get real about what’s next for you. If you’re ready to shift from dreaming to doing, let’s talk. [Book your free Café Chat here.]

The life you want isn’t waiting for you. It’s waiting for you to claim it. Let’s begin.

[Work with me here.]

A Love Letter to All The Ladies

Dear Beautiful Female, Feminine, and Femme Women,

I want to begin this letter by saying: I see you. I celebrate you. I honor the incredible journey you’ve walked to get here. You are the embodiment of strength, resilience, and beauty, and your story is uniquely yours—a testament to the power of living through challenges and emerging stronger.

To those who feel the weight of uncertainty in the wake of the recent election, I want you to know: I am with you. I see your frustration, your determination, and your hope for something better. This letter, this space, is dedicated to you.

For the next four years, my desire for you is not just survival but thriving. Thriving as the bold, authentic, extraordinary women you are meant to be. Because when you live fully for yourself—not in service to the expectations of others—you reclaim your power and begin to dismantle the systems that hold you back.

You are more powerful than you’ve been told. You are capable of living a life that is bold, beautiful, and authentically yours. My dream is for you to step into that life—not the one handed to you by circumstance or conditioning, but the one you design intentionally.

You are not alone in this journey. One woman at a time, one choice at a time, we create a ripple of change. We inspire others by being unapologetically ourselves. Together, we push on, and together, we thrive.

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself

My name is Suzette. I am an embodiment coach for the femme professional—women and individuals who are ready to profoundly change their lives. Embodiment means aligning your inner beliefs and desires with your outward actions. It’s about designing your life intentionally and living authentically.

Why is this so important?

Because I know what it feels like to live a life dictated by societal expectations, cultural conditioning, and the weight of internalized narratives I never consented to. I know what it’s like to feel stuck, to question your worth, and to wonder if there’s more. And I know what it takes to break free.

Let me share a glimpse of my story, because while it is uniquely mine, it may resonate with you in ways that remind you of your own strength and resilience.

The Roles I Was Born Into

I turned 50 this year. I was born into a predominantly white family—predominantly, because my mother is one-quarter Alaskan Native. Her darker complexion didn’t just set her apart in society’s eyes, within our religion, but even among her in-laws, which wasn’t pleasant for her. My upbringing was steeped in the traditions of a fifth-generation devout Mormon family. As the only girl among four brothers, I grew up in an environment that favored traditional gender roles, leaving me less valued, with fewer opportunities for advancement, and saddled with more than my share of housework.

Trigger Warning: Like too many others, my childhood carried a trauma narrative—one that threw me into fight-or-flight mode for most of my life.

As a young girl, I was molested by someone I should have been able to trust, forcing me to grow up far too young. This violation of my innocence and boundaries left me grappling with battles no child should ever face. Worse still, these experiences were overlooked and minimized by the cultural and institutional frameworks around me, thank you patriarchy.

My teen years predictably included rebellion and “authority” issues. At 18, I was evicted from my room and told I could sleep on the couch if I wanted to stay. By 19, my boyfriend (now my husband) and I found ourselves pregnant and homeless, couch-surfing for months until we finally secured government assistance and housing through HUD. These experiences, while difficult, laid the foundation for who I would eventually become.

Like so many women, I inherited and internalized narratives of shame, guilt, and unworthiness. These stories—rooted in patriarchy and reinforced by cultural and religious traditions—conditioned me to doubt my value and police my behavior to fit the mold of a “good girl.” This internalized misogyny shaped not only how others saw me but also how I saw myself.

Before I go any further, I want to acknowledge my privilege as a white woman. While my struggles are real, they are not the same as the systemic barriers faced by women of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, immigrants, and others who face compounding layers of oppression. I honor and respect the unique stories of every woman, recognizing that while I have faced hardships, I’ve also been afforded opportunities that others have been unjustly denied.

The Roles I Chose

The roles I’ve chosen since leaving my family home were different from those I was raised to accept, often filled with attempts to become the better version of myself I wasn’t quite encouraged to be. I became a mother, a wife, and eventually, after earning my GED, a college graduate with a degree in Art History.

But my journey was not a linear one. For years, I battled self-sacrifice, burnout, depression, anxiety, feelings of unworthiness, and a deep-seated trauma response to fawn throughout my life. Which always seemed to keep me accepting success as I accomplished things, and still feeling a sense of “not good enough”.

At 44, I worked with a counselor who coached me to break free from survival mode and my trauma responses. Between that guidance and the countless self-development books I had devoured, something finally clicked. The biggest lesson I extracted was self-responsibility. I could no longer use my past to hold me back. I could no longer create the life I wanted while hating what had gotten me here.

Unlearning these narratives wasn’t easy, but when I did, I was able to let go of the external judgments, and external expectations put on me, and those I was conditioned to put on myself. What I was left with was freedom, profound hope, and a love for the untapped possibilities ahead of me.

Reclaiming Your Life Begins

Reclaiming your life begins with love—most importantly, love for yourself, and a love for the life you know you’re capable of creating. It begins when you challenge the narratives that have held you back. It happens when you strip away the conditioning that no longer serves you, and you start decoding the beliefs that have kept you small.

  • Stop doubting yourself—you are CAPABLE. Trust your instincts and move forward with bold confidence.
  • See other women as allies, not competition—solidarity is your strength. Together, we rise higher, stronger, and unstoppable.
  • Break free from gender stereotypes—forge your own path and reject the outdated roles that have never defined you.
  • Validate yourself and claim your FREEDOM—your WORTH is inherent and doesn’t require anyone else’s approval. Reclaim your life, moment by moment, choice by choice.
  • Recognize the impact of gender bias and reject the narratives that hold you back—be the CHANGE you were born to embody.

Each time you take these steps, you reclaim your power, honor your journey, and inspire others to do the same. Together, we create a world where every woman thrives.

My Role Today

Today, I am deeply passionate about helping women create lives they always secretly thought possible. Ten years after earning my degree, I became a life coach with a clear purpose: to guide women through the often messy and uncomfortable process of self-discovery. It is a journey that requires courage but leads to a life that is wholly and unapologetically yours.

This is what I know: joy is a choice I make every day, independent of circumstances. Hope and resilience are forces I cultivate, even when uncertainty surrounds me. I trust in the boundless potential of the Universe (or God), anchoring myself in love, strength, and limitless possibilities.

My vow to every woman reading this: You are not alone. Whether you are taking tentative steps toward reclaiming your power or you are deeply immersed in your journey, I am here to walk beside you, even if only in spirit.

A Closing Wish for You

Wherever you are currently on your journey, I want you to know this: You are enough. You are worthy, just as you are. You are capable—more than you realize. And the life you dream of is within your power to create.

I hope you wake up every day feeling the strength of your own potential. I hope you choose yourself, again and again, even when the path feels difficult. I hope you embrace the fullness of who you are, knowing you have the courage to live boldly, unapologetically, and authentically.

This life is yours—yours to shape, yours to claim, yours to embody. When you choose to live for yourself, you inspire others to do the same. You dismantle the systems that hold us back, one courageous choice, one woman at a time.

And in doing so, you don’t just reclaim your life—you change the world.

With love and unwavering belief in your brilliance,

All My Love—Suzette

Unveiling the Systematic Control of Patriarchy

Before we dive deep into the complexities of patriarchy, it’s crucial to clarify what this discussion is NOT about. Patriarchy is not an indictment of men as individuals; rather, it’s an examination of a systemic structure from which men, as a group, tend to benefit more than others. This system also conditions men, often limiting their emotional expression and personal choices.

My focus here is not on men themselves but on understanding and challenging a pervasive system that influences societal norms and personal interactions across all genders, intersecting significantly with issues of race and economics. This dialogue aims to foster a more inclusive society by addressing and dismantling the systemic barriers that affect us all, not just those who are immediately disadvantaged by them.

The Unseen Impact of Patriarchy

Did you know that in many parts of the world, women are still not allowed to own property, vote, or work without their husband’s permission? In the more extreme places, women are now being controlled with such fervor that they are no longer allowed to even speak with other women. These are just a few examples of how deeply patriarchal values are embedded in our global society. But the effects of patriarchy don’t stop at legal limitations; they permeate our everyday interactions, self-perceptions, and the aspirations we dare to dream.

With this foundational understanding, let’s delve into how patriarchy not only shapes our societal structures but also deeply influences personal identities and relationships. Why does patriarchy persist, and how does it intertwine with other forms of systemic inequality like racism and economic disparity? Let’s dissect these questions to uncover the roots and repercussions of patriarchal dominance. We’ll explore how internalized misogyny complements patriarchy and examine ways we might challenge and change these ingrained norms.

Patriarchy Defined and Its Ubiquitous Influence

Patriarchy is more than just a social system; it is the cornerstone of many traditional beliefs and practices that govern our lives. Men typically hold power in the family as primary authority figures, which mirrors their dominance in public spheres. This widespread influence results in male dominance over women and other genders, affecting various aspects of society from policymaking to personal freedoms.

The Pillars of Patriarchy: Authority, Norms, and Control
  • Male Authority: Men dominate roles of power and decision-making from family units to government, often excluding women and other marginalized genders. This exclusion is systemic, marginalizing anyone who challenges traditional male archetypes, including non-binary and transgender individuals.
  • Norms and Values: Patriarchal norms promote the belief that men are inherently suited to lead, which influences laws and policies limiting diverse opportunities. These societal standards perpetuate stereotypes and maintain power imbalances that disadvantage many, stifling voices and limiting opportunities.
  • Gender Roles and Resource Control: Gender expectations under patriarchy often confine women to caregiving and homemaking, while discouraging men from embracing nurturing roles. Men’s control over key resources like property and finances further entrenches economic disparities.
  • Institutional Structures: Legal, political, and economic systems support male dominance, perpetuating inequalities that affect not only women but also racial and ethnic minorities and the LGBTQ+ community.

Internalized Misogyny: The Silent Accomplice

Internalized misogyny is an insidious reality where individuals, often women, unconsciously accept sexist attitudes that devalue women’s worth and abilities. Recognizing and addressing internalized misogyny is crucial for dismantling the broader structures of patriarchy.

Characteristics of Internalized Misogyny:
  • Self-Doubt and Low Self-Esteem: When women doubt their abilities and self-worth, it undermines their confidence and limits their potential. This self-doubt is often rooted in societal messages that suggest women are less capable or deserving than men. It prevents women from pursuing opportunities, asserting themselves, and participating fully in various spheres of life.
  • Competitiveness Toward Other Women: Encouraged by a patriarchal society that pits women against each other, this competitiveness can fragment solidarity among women. It serves the patriarchy by keeping women isolated and preventing them from forming strong networks that could challenge male dominance.
  • Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes: Upholding traditional gender roles confines women and men to specific behaviors and expectations, limiting individual freedom and stifling personal and professional growth. These stereotypes reinforce the status quo, where men are seen as leaders and women as caretakers, thus maintaining patriarchal structures.
  • Disparagement of Femininity: Devaluing traits traditionally associated with femininity, such as empathy, sensitivity, and gentleness, marginalizes those who embody these traits and validates masculine characteristics as superior. This bias supports patriarchal views that equate power and success with masculinity.
  • Seeking Validation from Men: When women seek approval predominantly from men, it reinforces the notion that male perspectives are more valuable. This dependency on male validation undermines women’s autonomy and self-validation, perpetuating male authority in personal and professional contexts.
  • Policing Other Women: Judging or policing the choices and behaviors of other women more harshly than those of men enforces patriarchal standards and norms. It keeps women aligned with patriarchal expectations and discourages deviation from societal norms, thereby maintaining existing power structures.
  • Denying Gender Discrimination: Minimizing or denying the existence of sexism and gender-based discrimination helps maintain patriarchal advantage. Acknowledging gender inequality is essential for societal progress; denial keeps unjust systems in place by obscuring the need for reform.
  • Blaming Women for Their Oppression: When society blames women for the discrimination or oppression they face, it shifts the focus from systemic issues to individual responsibility. This victim-blaming not only absolves patriarchal structures from accountability but also perpetuates a cycle of oppression, making it harder to mobilize effective resistance and achieve true equality.

Reflect, Question, and Transform

The journey toward transformative change begins with introspection—the toughest step that requires an honest evaluation of our interactions with the world. Reflect on the influence of patriarchal structures in your life. Delve into the roles you embody and the beliefs you carry:

  • Personal Reflection: Are your beliefs truly your own, or shaped by external influences like family, partners, or religious figures? Have you critically examined these beliefs to understand their roots and consequences?
  • Challenging Norms: Consider the impact of these beliefs and roles on your life and those around you. Do they promote liberty and growth, or do they impose limitations and restrictions on you and others?
  • Breaking the Cycle: Passive disapproval of patriarchal norms is insufficient. Inaction or passive compliance fuels the persistence of these systems. What proactive measures can you undertake to confront and alter these entrenched norms? How can you empower others on their path to liberate themselves from these oppressive structures?

A Deeper Call for Awareness and Advocacy

It’s crucial to challenge the roots of patriarchy and internalized misogyny to build a society that upholds inclusivity and justice. This initiative transcends opposing individuals, focusing instead on dismantling an entrenched system that privileges a select few. Embrace intentional living by actively questioning and challenging patriarchal norms in your daily interactions and environments. Engage in and support community efforts to raise awareness and drive reform. Educate yourself and advocate within your circles to spread understanding and empathy, key drivers of lasting change. Your proactive involvement can catalyze community transformation and inspire collective action towards equity.

In the wake of this election, where America has chosen a path that may seem to reinforce patriarchal and authoritarian values, we must not go quietly into the night. Let’s stand together in these pivotal moments to challenge societal norms and reflect deeply on our collective direction. By questioning the status quo and advocating for systemic changes, we have the power to contribute to a more equitable world. Share your journey, support others in theirs, and together, let’s shift the paradigm towards a more just society.

Instagram and Me:

A Love, Like, and ‘Meh’ Journey as a Business Owner

Let’s be honest, Instagram and I have had a beautiful & complicated relationship for a while now. As a former photographer with a deep love for the craft, I’ve watched IG evolve into something entirely different from what it used to be. Photography seems to have taken a backseat, and while I know change is inevitable (hey, that’s life), it doesn’t mean I have to love it.

So, here I am, asking myself: what is Instagram to me today?

Is it still for photography? Is it for videos, Reels, or Stories? Should I use it for personal branding, or should it remain a professional platform for my coaching business? Like many of you, I’m constantly bombarded with sponsored ads and suggested accounts that miss the mark entirely. The algorithm feels… off, to say the least.

Let me vent for a moment.

I miss the still imagery. I miss seeing artists sharing their craft and the lifestyle inspiration that used to fill my feed with simple, everyday beauty. Now, it feels like a constant barrage of noisy videos, an overload of selfies, endless ads, and people shouting about their opinions, products, or services. Honestly, it’s a bit exhausting.

But here’s the paradox: while I don’t want to be sold to 24/7, I’m also a coach. I want to share value, talk about my services, and yes—sell my coaching. So, that’s the rub! I’m searching for a balance between using Instagram as the powerful tool it can be and showing up as the woman I truly aspire to be.

One of my favorite quotes is, “I am going to make everything around me beautiful—that will be my life.” ― Elsie de Wolfe. To me, beauty is woven into the everyday—it’s in the moments we often overlook, whether they’re simple or extraordinary. It’s in music, fashion, art, photography, coffee, relationships, and even the messiness of life that can feel difficult. I share this because on Instagram, my goal is to curate a feed that is not only aesthetically beautiful but thoughtful—a reflection of who I am and the life I choose to create. My hope is that it offers inspiration and value to fellow feminine entrepreneurs who are seeking their own version of beauty and success.

Here’s what I do love about Instagram: it’s still customizable. I can curate my experience, follow who I want, and engage only with the content that resonates with me. I get to create my own little bubble of beauty on the platform. That’s empowering—the personal responsibility to shape your own experience. Still, I often find myself torn about IG’s role in my day-to-day life.

So lately, I’ve been asking myself some questions:
  • Who am I in this IG space?
  • How do I want to show up on it—for me?
  • How can I be more than just another voice in this cacophony of noise?
  • What do I actually enjoy about the app?
  • How do I truly want to engage with it?


The truth? I don’t have any concrete answers just yet. I’m still figuring out what truly resonates with me and how I want to use Instagram for both my business and personal brand. But the beautiful part is, there’s no right or wrong—it’s all about what feels authentic to me.

In the meantime, I’ll keep doing what feels right for me—how I want, when I want, and on my own terms. I’ll continue seeking beauty in the everyday, curating the lifestyle of my dreams, and sharing whatever nuggets of wisdom feel worthy of a post. Instagram is a free platform, and honestly, it’s just not that deep in the grand scheme of life. The real power lies in how I choose to engage and show up—and that’s where I’ll keep my focus.

What’s your relationship with Instagram like? I’d love to hear your love, like, and indifferent feelings about the app, and how you’re finding your balance! Share how you’re navigating this digital dilemma with me. And if you haven’t already, follow me on IG to see how I’m curating my little corner of Instagram!